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Its Not The End Of The World
EVERYBODY DOING ALL RIGHTTONIGHTé ME TOO, I GOT TO SAY I'MFEELING LUCKY AND GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE. I'M COUNTING MY BLESSINGS. I'M UP TO FOUR AND A THUMB. BUT YOU KNOW WHO REALLY HADA ROUGH DAYé THOSE FOLKS OVER AT EBIBLEFELLOWSHIP. THEY'RE A CHURCH GROUP INPENNSYLVANIA THAT PREDICTS
THE END OF THE WORLD AND NOTAS THEIR NAME WOULD SUGGEST A BOOK CLUB THAT READS THEBIBLE ONLY ON KINDLE. THESE FOLKS GOT FAMOUS A FEWYEARS BACK FOR PREDICTING THAT JUDGEMENT DAY WOULDFALL ON MAY 21st, 201 YOU PROBABLY SAW THOSE SAVE THEDATE BILLBOARDS. I RSVPED IMMEDIATELY ANDREQUESTED THE VEGETARIAN OPTION AT THE APOCALYPSE. WELL, IT TUSHES OUT THEIRMATH WAS A LITTLE OFF.
I THINK THEY FORGOT TO CARRYONE OF THE HEARSTMEN. BUT THEY TOOK ANOTHER LOOKAT THE BOOK OF REVELATION RECENTLY, CRUNCHED THENUMBERS THROUGH THEIR JESUS CALL COUP LATER ANDDISCOVERED THAT IN FACT THE PLANET WAS SUPPOSED TO BEPERMANENTLY DESTROYED YESTERDAY, OCTOBER 7th. AND SPOILER ALERT,(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)ANYWAY, I HAVE SOME SYMPATHY
FOR THOSE GUYS. I'M SURE THEY FEEL TERRIBLETODAY. PROBABLY FOR A LOT OFREASONS. CUZ YOU KNOW THAT ONE THINGYOU SAID YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DO IF THE WORLDWAS GOING TO COME TO AN ENDé THEY PROBABLY DID THAT LASTNIGHT. IT'S GOING TO BE AWKWARD ATWORK TODAY. HEY, BRENDA.
SO I'M SENDING THE FOLKS ATEBIBLE FELLOWSHIP THIS SYMPATHY CARD. IT SAYS MY DEEPESTCONDOLENCES FOR EVERYTHING STILL EXISTING. BUT YOU DID BELIEVE EBIBLEFELLOWSHIP YOU CAN'T BE TOO SURPRISED. THOUGH THEIR PAMPHLET SAYSTHAT OCTOBER 7th, 2015 WILL BE THE END.
WORLD, THEY HEDGE THEIR BETBY ADDING THERE IS A STRONG LIKELIHOOD. STRONG LIKELY HOOD T MIGHTHAPPEN. BUT IF IT DOESN'T, IT IS NOTLIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.
ARMAGEDDON Radio announcer struggles with funny story
Here's a fax from Cooter in Orlando whosends me a copy of a story that appeared in the Los Angeles Times, he says. A prestigious uh. prestigiousnewspaper not the oftmaligned Weekly World News Quoting the story: quot;In retrospect,lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve thegerbilquot;, Eric Tomaszewski told bemused s in the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City . Tomaszewski, and his homosexual partner, Andrew quot;Kikiquot; Farnum, had been admitted
for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. quot;I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in,quot; he explained. quot;As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him.quot; Ha Ha Ha! At a hushed press conference, a spokesman described what
happened next. quot;The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and flames shot out the tube, igniting Mr Tomaszewski's hair and severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball.quot; Ha Ha! quot;Armageddon!quot; Ha Ha Haha Ha! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha! Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.quot; (Laughing) Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Armageddon! Ha Ha Ha He He He peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might make
the gerbil come out! So that's what quot;Felchingquot; is all about! Armageddon!.
Smooth Jazz Endless Summer Sequel 10 Hours Jazz Music Session
Title: Smooth Jazz: Endless Summer Sequel (10 Hours Jazz Music Session).