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Its Not The End Of The World
EVERYBODY DOING ALL RIGHTTONIGHTé ME TOO, I GOT TO SAY I'MFEELING LUCKY AND GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE. I'M COUNTING MY BLESSINGS. I'M UP TO FOUR AND A THUMB. BUT YOU KNOW WHO REALLY HADA ROUGH DAYé THOSE FOLKS OVER AT EBIBLEFELLOWSHIP. THEY'RE A CHURCH GROUP INPENNSYLVANIA THAT PREDICTS
THE END OF THE WORLD AND NOTAS THEIR NAME WOULD SUGGEST A BOOK CLUB THAT READS THEBIBLE ONLY ON KINDLE. THESE FOLKS GOT FAMOUS A FEWYEARS BACK FOR PREDICTING THAT JUDGEMENT DAY WOULDFALL ON MAY 21st, 201 YOU PROBABLY SAW THOSE SAVE THEDATE BILLBOARDS. I RSVPED IMMEDIATELY ANDREQUESTED THE VEGETARIAN OPTION AT THE APOCALYPSE. WELL, IT TUSHES OUT THEIRMATH WAS A LITTLE OFF.
I THINK THEY FORGOT TO CARRYONE OF THE HEARSTMEN. BUT THEY TOOK ANOTHER LOOKAT THE BOOK OF REVELATION RECENTLY, CRUNCHED THENUMBERS THROUGH THEIR JESUS CALL COUP LATER ANDDISCOVERED THAT IN FACT THE PLANET WAS SUPPOSED TO BEPERMANENTLY DESTROYED YESTERDAY, OCTOBER 7th. AND SPOILER ALERT,(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)ANYWAY, I HAVE SOME SYMPATHY
FOR THOSE GUYS. I'M SURE THEY FEEL TERRIBLETODAY. PROBABLY FOR A LOT OFREASONS. CUZ YOU KNOW THAT ONE THINGYOU SAID YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DO IF THE WORLDWAS GOING TO COME TO AN ENDé THEY PROBABLY DID THAT LASTNIGHT. IT'S GOING TO BE AWKWARD ATWORK TODAY. HEY, BRENDA.
SO I'M SENDING THE FOLKS ATEBIBLE FELLOWSHIP THIS SYMPATHY CARD. IT SAYS MY DEEPESTCONDOLENCES FOR EVERYTHING STILL EXISTING. BUT YOU DID BELIEVE EBIBLEFELLOWSHIP YOU CAN'T BE TOO SURPRISED. THOUGH THEIR PAMPHLET SAYSTHAT OCTOBER 7th, 2015 WILL BE THE END.
WORLD, THEY HEDGE THEIR BETBY ADDING THERE IS A STRONG LIKELIHOOD. STRONG LIKELY HOOD T MIGHTHAPPEN. BUT IF IT DOESN'T, IT IS NOTLIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.
How The Avengers Should Have Ended
(music) Thor: You want me to put the hammer downé (large explosion) (coughing) Captain America: Are we done hereé Loki: Hello! Iron Man: You're still hereé Loki: Yes.
Thor: Why didn't you run away while we settled our differencesé Loki: I'll never tell! Muhuhahaha. Hmmhmmhmmhmm.Muhuhuhahaha.hahahahaha! Captain America: OK, we are not taking him back to base. He is DEFINITELY up to something! How The Avengers Should Have Ended Cap: Whoa! Haha! Shield!
Iron Man: Gentlemen, right this way! Hawkeye: (unintelligible) (Hulk roars) Thor: Ha! Here comes the hammer! Black Widow: Pew pew pew! Captain America: Captainball! Thor: from whence you came! Nick Fury: Say what again! I dare you! I DOUBLE dare you!
(Black Widow yells) Hulk: Puny god, puny god, puny god! (Iron Man grunts) Iron Man: Tank missile! (Hulk pants) Iron Man: Hey, you guys ever had shawarmaé (music ends) Superman: This place serves foodé!
Iron Man: Yeah. You never had shawarma, eitheré Hulk: SHAWARMA! (hungrily devours shawarma) Captain America: Why do I have to sit on Hulk's lapé Thor: Mmm! Another! (smashes) Batman: Hey.I'm Batman. You want to know my secret identityé
Black Widow: . whyé Superman (clears throat): So, you guys had quite a weekend. Captain America: Heh, that's an understatement. Superman: First you guys were all against each other, then your buddy got killed, so you're suddenly friends. Hulk: Pffh! Someone dieé Iron Man: Uh.yeah, you kinda missed out on that part.