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Its Not The End Of The World
EVERYBODY DOING ALL RIGHTTONIGHTé ME TOO, I GOT TO SAY I'MFEELING LUCKY AND GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE. I'M COUNTING MY BLESSINGS. I'M UP TO FOUR AND A THUMB. BUT YOU KNOW WHO REALLY HADA ROUGH DAYé THOSE FOLKS OVER AT EBIBLEFELLOWSHIP. THEY'RE A CHURCH GROUP INPENNSYLVANIA THAT PREDICTS
THE END OF THE WORLD AND NOTAS THEIR NAME WOULD SUGGEST A BOOK CLUB THAT READS THEBIBLE ONLY ON KINDLE. THESE FOLKS GOT FAMOUS A FEWYEARS BACK FOR PREDICTING THAT JUDGEMENT DAY WOULDFALL ON MAY 21st, 201 YOU PROBABLY SAW THOSE SAVE THEDATE BILLBOARDS. I RSVPED IMMEDIATELY ANDREQUESTED THE VEGETARIAN OPTION AT THE APOCALYPSE. WELL, IT TUSHES OUT THEIRMATH WAS A LITTLE OFF.
I THINK THEY FORGOT TO CARRYONE OF THE HEARSTMEN. BUT THEY TOOK ANOTHER LOOKAT THE BOOK OF REVELATION RECENTLY, CRUNCHED THENUMBERS THROUGH THEIR JESUS CALL COUP LATER ANDDISCOVERED THAT IN FACT THE PLANET WAS SUPPOSED TO BEPERMANENTLY DESTROYED YESTERDAY, OCTOBER 7th. AND SPOILER ALERT,(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)ANYWAY, I HAVE SOME SYMPATHY
FOR THOSE GUYS. I'M SURE THEY FEEL TERRIBLETODAY. PROBABLY FOR A LOT OFREASONS. CUZ YOU KNOW THAT ONE THINGYOU SAID YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DO IF THE WORLDWAS GOING TO COME TO AN ENDé THEY PROBABLY DID THAT LASTNIGHT. IT'S GOING TO BE AWKWARD ATWORK TODAY. HEY, BRENDA.
SO I'M SENDING THE FOLKS ATEBIBLE FELLOWSHIP THIS SYMPATHY CARD. IT SAYS MY DEEPESTCONDOLENCES FOR EVERYTHING STILL EXISTING. BUT YOU DID BELIEVE EBIBLEFELLOWSHIP YOU CAN'T BE TOO SURPRISED. THOUGH THEIR PAMPHLET SAYSTHAT OCTOBER 7th, 2015 WILL BE THE END.
WORLD, THEY HEDGE THEIR BETBY ADDING THERE IS A STRONG LIKELIHOOD. STRONG LIKELY HOOD T MIGHTHAPPEN. BUT IF IT DOESN'T, IT IS NOTLIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.
The Mayan Calendar 2012
Hello time travelers and anyother people living in the future: If you're watching this,it means that the Maya, as they often are, were right. And Hollywood, as italmost always is when it comes to science, was wrong. INTRO I'm talking, of course,about the Mayan calendar, and the winter solstice of 2012.
As you've noticed, Hollywoodshysters, along with some cable TV people and a goodnumber of pseudoscientist authors are trying to convincethe world that maybe it's all going to endon December 21, 2012. The earth is going to split in twoor the poles are going to shift or house cats are goingto rise up against us and make us poop in boxes of sand. And they're all feeling that waybecause of a particular significance
that a particular ancientcivilization put on that very date. And if you're watching thistutorial after December 21, 2012. Well, you may have tofeel a little bit embarrassed about getting allweewee'd up about it. Now I'm not saying thatDecember 21st, 2012 isn't an important date in theMayan calendar, it certainly is. Don't panic! I can personallyguarantee that the world is not going to end on December 21st, 2012.
And here is just oneof the reasons why. It's not even that I don't believethat the world is going to end, it's that the Maya didn't. The Maya had lots of differentways of measuring time. And one of them wasespecially for measuring very long periods of time. Because unlike you and me who can't remember lifebefore Tomb Raider Underworld
the Maya had a reallylong view of time. And they measured it using what'scalled the Long Count Calendar. So check this out. The Maya called a day a k'in. Twenty of these k'ins, twentydays, were called a winal. Eighteen winals, or 360 days,made a tun, or about a year. Twenty tuns were known asa k'atun, or about 20 years. And twenty k'atuns make a b'ak'tun,
which amounted to about 144,000days, or about '4.26 years. The Maya used this system tocount the number of days since what they calledquot;the last creation.quot; Yeah, I said the last creation. Because the Maya believed that we are currently livingin the fourth creation. The first three, the godsscrewed up or whatever and they wanted to start over.