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Jewish Calendar December 2012

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Its Not The End Of The World

EVERYBODY DOING ALL RIGHTTONIGHTé ME TOO, I GOT TO SAY I'MFEELING LUCKY AND GRATEFUL TO BE ALIVE. I'M COUNTING MY BLESSINGS. I'M UP TO FOUR AND A THUMB. BUT YOU KNOW WHO REALLY HADA ROUGH DAYé THOSE FOLKS OVER AT EBIBLEFELLOWSHIP. THEY'RE A CHURCH GROUP INPENNSYLVANIA THAT PREDICTS

THE END OF THE WORLD AND NOTAS THEIR NAME WOULD SUGGEST A BOOK CLUB THAT READS THEBIBLE ONLY ON KINDLE. THESE FOLKS GOT FAMOUS A FEWYEARS BACK FOR PREDICTING THAT JUDGEMENT DAY WOULDFALL ON MAY 21st, 201 YOU PROBABLY SAW THOSE SAVE THEDATE BILLBOARDS. I RSVPED IMMEDIATELY ANDREQUESTED THE VEGETARIAN OPTION AT THE APOCALYPSE. WELL, IT TUSHES OUT THEIRMATH WAS A LITTLE OFF.

I THINK THEY FORGOT TO CARRYONE OF THE HEARSTMEN. BUT THEY TOOK ANOTHER LOOKAT THE BOOK OF REVELATION RECENTLY, CRUNCHED THENUMBERS THROUGH THEIR JESUS CALL COUP LATER ANDDISCOVERED THAT IN FACT THE PLANET WAS SUPPOSED TO BEPERMANENTLY DESTROYED YESTERDAY, OCTOBER 7th. AND SPOILER ALERT,(LAUGHTER) (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)ANYWAY, I HAVE SOME SYMPATHY

FOR THOSE GUYS. I'M SURE THEY FEEL TERRIBLETODAY. PROBABLY FOR A LOT OFREASONS. CUZ YOU KNOW THAT ONE THINGYOU SAID YOU WOULD BE WILLING TO DO IF THE WORLDWAS GOING TO COME TO AN ENDé THEY PROBABLY DID THAT LASTNIGHT. IT'S GOING TO BE AWKWARD ATWORK TODAY. HEY, BRENDA.

SO I'M SENDING THE FOLKS ATEBIBLE FELLOWSHIP THIS SYMPATHY CARD. IT SAYS MY DEEPESTCONDOLENCES FOR EVERYTHING STILL EXISTING. BUT YOU DID BELIEVE EBIBLEFELLOWSHIP YOU CAN'T BE TOO SURPRISED. THOUGH THEIR PAMPHLET SAYSTHAT OCTOBER 7th, 2015 WILL BE THE END.

WORLD, THEY HEDGE THEIR BETBY ADDING THERE IS A STRONG LIKELIHOOD. STRONG LIKELY HOOD T MIGHTHAPPEN. BUT IF IT DOESN'T, IT IS NOTLIKE IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.

Why Are There So Many Different Calendars

On December 21st 2012, the world was supposedto end. Many believed that the Mayan calendar would be ending, and so would all life onearth. Of course, most of us don't use the ancient Mayan calendar, and the world didn'tend. So we wanted to know, why are there so many different calendarsé Well, nearly all calendars fall under threetypes: lunar, solar, and lunisolar. There are actually dozens of different calendars,many of which build off each other and are incredibly similar. The most widely recognized nonreligious calendarin the Western World is the Gregorian calendar.

In 46 BC, Roman Emperor Julius Caesar institutedthe Julian Calendar, which was almost identical to the one we use today. It had 12 months,and a year was defined as 365.25 days. A millenia and a half later in 1582, Pope Gregory the13th introduced the Gregorian calendar, named after himself. It tackled the problem of certainreligious celebrations falling on a slightly different day every year. It changed the rulessurrounding leap years so that dates remained relatively consistent with the holidays . TheGregorian is solarbased, meaning that one year equals to one full rotation of the eartharound the sun. There are also lunar calendars, which measuremonths based on cycles of the moon. This usually

correlates as a new moon signifying a newmonth. The most well known lunar calendar is the Islamic calendar, also called the Hijricalendar, named for a journey by the Prophet Muhammad in the year 622. The Hijri calendarmarks this event as it's quote “year zero�, similar to the Christian system of AD andBC, setting the life of Jesus Christ as a neutral point. Additionally, because thereare more than 12 lunar cycles in one solar cycle, the Hijri calendar is only 354 dayslong, and it is currently considered the year 1437 AH. Finally, there are calendars which use bothlunar and solar systems. These are lunisolar,

and are the best of both worlds, using thesun to mark the year, and moon cycles to mark the seasons. Occasionally, to fix the discrepancyof the shorter lunar month, there is a thirteenth “leap month� added every two to threeyears. The Chinese calendar is a famous example of a lunisolar calendar. Rather than markyears chronologically, the Chinese calendar names its years, with the first componentdenoting an element like metal, fire or earth, and the second an animal. For example, 2016is the Red Fire Monkey. This type of calendar is also used by Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, anda number of Asian countries. There are a lot of ways to keep track of time,and luckily we've all mostly agreed on the

Gregorian civil calendar. So while the NewYear may come on January first for any Solar or Lunisolar cultures, you'll have to waituntil October of 2016 if you're following the purely lunar Hijri calendar. For a deeper look into the origins of theGregorian Calendar, check out this tutorial by DNews. Thanks for checking us out! Be sureto subscribe to TestTube News for more tutorials.

2012 with Noam Chomsky Anonymous RAP NEWS X

There is no threat to Earth in 2012. All the talk about a doomsday is a big hoax. Hello, I'm Robert Foster, your faithful host, streaming another episode on the frequency of Juice News infused with a healthy dose of sanity. Good morning, viewers, tune in, gather round as we delve into a Rap News update for the year 2012. We report that the world wide ebb and flow of history is now plain and evident:

Occupations have stormed fortress Walls, withintents and taken up residence; leaks and revelations have led to revolutions, a deluge of ferment. Ladies and gentlemen, if 2011 was a prelude, a portent of things to come, then it's dramatically clear we're in for a massive year. And to interpret these interesting times, we have General Baxter here. But we'll start with our resident expert, Terrence Moonseed. Terrence, what does this year mean as you see ité Oh, Boy! 2012 on the News Feed

You'd better listen up, Robert, cause I got a lot of phenomenal knowledge and I wanna be dropping it, finally the news is choosing to report truth on a proper topic! You'll never stop me from hollering Brace yourselves, cos I'm getting ready to send in the requisite academic medicine, heavensent querulent evidence, never settling when I'm grabbing a hammer and smashing the Nephilim This is the time for humanity's ascension The fifth sunset in line with precession and the Mayans' calendar prediction on December 21, this world will rise in unison, from its prison into the fifth dimension and the highest of wisdom

But as we'll see, it's the catalyst for a whole catalog of catastrophes calamities, as we reach the Terrencendental McKennical singularity What will all this mean for the fate of humanityé It means the fiends that seek to deceive and keep us weak'll reach a state of apogee And it means that people cease the capacity for endless atrophy that as a planet we rise from apathy and challenge the Draconian powersthatbe Who are theyé Aliens, parasites, they're among us, keeping us trapped in captivity General, your sayé Now, I don't know what planet he's inhabiting

but what the hippy is saying is accurate; forget the wacky analogy Look around at the world, and you'll see it's already actually happening right here on Earth, where human slaves are trying to rise to take on the great elite,and take to the streets worldwide against corporate entities which have taken on human form Protesting in New York, Portland, Spain, Greece and distant Melbourne Tent monster morons, homos, drummers, drug addicted freaks They say they're protesting to demand justice, and dignity

Seriouslyé I read in The New York Times quite the contrary they lack clear demands, they just want to live for free and get sympathy in fact the only clear demand they've ever made is for some pepper spray in the effing face. Then they bitch and complain. But it's just a food product, essentially. I take it daily, with my favourite drink: Bloody Military hmm. perhaps speaking directly with the protesters would be wiser,

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