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How Harry Potter Should Have Ended
Dumbledore: Welcome, everyone to Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft, a place I assure you is safe for children, and has absolutely no history that might threaten our entire existence. But there is a huge killer snake downstairs. And a giant, vicious three headed dog.and a tree that can kill you. and mansized spiders that can eat your face. and McGonagall: Thank you, ProfessorDumbledore! That will be all.
As he was saying, welcome to Hermione: These candles are dripping wax everywhere! (indistinct screams) How Harry Potter Should Have Ended (door opens) That TimeTurner's fantastic, Hermione! You should keep it forever. Hermione: Alright.
Harry: No, really! It's too valuable!You have to promise to keep it. Hermione: Okay! I promise! Harry: Hermione, something mightconveniently destroy all the TimeTurners, making that the last one!You have to promise to keep it! Hermione: I promise I won't get rid of it! Ron: What the bloody hell are you two talking abouté (epic musical score) (energy colliding)
Voldemort: I'm going to kill you, Harry Potter! I'm pointing my wand as hard as I can! Harry: What's it going to take, Tomé You tried to kill me once as a baby and it didn't work! Voldemort: I'm going to destroy you! Harry: We've been here, like, four or five times already, and I just came back from the dead!
Voldemort: Lalalala! Not listening! Too busy about to kill you! Harry: You are insane! And nowwe're about to kill your pet snake! Neville (slow motion): I'm awesome!!! Harry: It's over! Voldemort: It's never over! Avada Kedavugh! (vocalizing)
Snape: Ugh. Muggle weapons. Harry: Professor Snape, you're alive! Snape: Of course I'm alive, you twit! Harry: But howé You died right in front of us! Snape: Magic! Duh! I'm a potions master and a double agent.